On that day in 1976 - 27 July

I was taking various classes at the Dick Grove School of Music in Studio City; tonight I had Jazz Improvisation. Although we had some instruction - had to learn all the modes in all the keys - it was really more of a jam session; I switched between the acoustic piano and the electric Fender Rhodes.

Rod Stewart used to play soccer in Beverly Hills with some of our South Bay Scottish friends. I cannot for the life of me remember who the "Organic Tomato" was but I think Dan and I gave him (or her) that name. I was still depressed about not properly getting to meet Todd... If only I could tell my teenage self what adventures lay in store on that front!

Robert Williams and his band Radio were playing that night and we went to the show after my class; I think it was at Gazarri's though it might have been the Whisky. I have absolutely no idea why I gave him a chopstick. And he's still alive and well, Dan!

27 July 1976

This afternoon I was so tired I couldn't do anything. Listened to Faithful four times and talked to Audrey. Later I talked to Jade; she wants to go see Rod Stewart play soccer and to the beach tomorrow, and Dan; he said he was gonna take a Dick Grove course and wants to go tonight. Hope he does! Then Bill called and came over and I practiced my modes a bit. Then Ava called; got over her madness quickly. That was funny; she described the Organic Tomato perfectly. Cheryl went to Frisco yesterday. And I also talked to Mary today and I was crying cause I've met all these big stars, like Roger Daltrey, and I can't even meet Todd! And he's supposed to hang out with his fans. Wonder what he thought of my presents.

My improv teacher

The image on my new T shirts

Later: Got my Nazz T shirts finally. And Dan wanted to go. So we did. His hair has gone all curly. He "hung out", said I bombed on the first one but did great on the second. I think it is easier to improvise on chord changes. Dumb Robert didn't even put my name on the guest list but Dan goes, "Is mine on it?" and they let us in! Radio were hot; the singer is a spazz. Whizz Kidz were OK too, typical rock stars though. Hardly talked to Robert; told him they were OK, that I had sort of but not really, met Todd; handed him the chopstick... He goes, "What's this for?"

Oh, I'm supposed to ask Robert if Dan can have his leather jacket if he dies in a car accident. (If he's not wearing it, that is!)

On that day in 1977 - 26 July

Continuing on the family road trip; the day before we had stopped in Leadville, Colorado, which redeemed itself with its thrift store. The $2 dress turned out to be a perfect fit and I wore it for many years; I'm actually about to try to sell it on eBay. My mother told me what it would have cost in the late 50s; it was by Ceil Chapman, a black lace cocktail sheath with a white chiffon insert in back. I'll find or take a photo to insert later. It does appear (on me) in a short I made in 1979 which I need to get transferred from Beta!

Wow, I've never got round to googling Ceil Chapman till now. I found out her dresses are worth much more than I expected and from this blog I learned she was Marilyn's favorite designer: http://www.pinupgirlstyle.com/profiles/blogs/ceil-chapman-the-female-dress-engineer However, I also learned that one could buy Ceil Chapman dress patterns, and I think my dress might have been handmade for one. It's got an embroidered CC label sewn in, but as I know that Vogue Patterns used to include designer labels (I made a Dior suit once). And although I know couture was all hand-sewn back then, on this one the stitches aren't as even as one might expect in couture. That's all on the inside though; the dress is impeccable and was barely worn when I got it for two bucks. Now the chiffon is stained from years of hanging in my damp childhood closet... :-( But I'd still wear it if I could fit into it!

(More info once I can see some information about the patterns; I'm on a slow computer which at the moment will not open any new sites...)

I would get carsick a lot when I was a kid, especially when reading (and I was always reading!) but I can't remember a time that I did after this. I guess I outgrew it.

The main reason I included this entry was for my comments about Aspen… And I claimed not to be a punk rocker!

26 July 1977

The next day we went around downtown. That Goodwill store was soooo neat and cheap! But no dressing rooms and we couldn't stay long and you couldn't buy Girl Scout dresses. I still haven't tried on the $2 dress I got (originally several hundred!!) Then I found the Tiger glasses! [I'm not positive, but I think these were tiger-striped sunglasses, which I would have bought as a present for Tiger.]

I got really carsick and we stopped in Aspen. I felt so gross. I don't like the people around there – too athletic and mellow.

We stayed in Basalt. That's weird that the restaurant had Chinese food. But the dumb waitress forgot to bring me my cookie!

On that day in 1980 - 25 July

I think I mentioned in a previous post from this year that in the spring I had been beaten up by some HB jock fake punk thugs at the Fleetwood in Redondo Beach. This girl from Huntington Beach - never found out her name though I later heard that she committed suicide - started it all; set the thugs upon me.

I was living at the Manor and at this time my housemates were: Shawn and Mark Stern, Elliot, Kevin, Jason... and I think Keith the Vietnam vet had not left in a huff yet, though I doubt he was around at the party. [Yes, just noticed his name a few days later when he evicts De De from the house...] I was the only girl for the first few weeks there. [Though a few days later I start mentioning a Laura... Who was Laura? LATER: Of course! I cannot remember her last name but she was Tiger's ex-girlfriend who had moved down from Portland and was staying with someone in the house.]

I think I was moping around and driven to drink too much to forget that I had not heard from Michael Murphy since the 13th (which I posted) - an eternity when you're that young! He did come to my rescue with a tire iron (I had to change a tire and he gallantly did it for me) a couple days after the party and all was back to normal, briefly. Both he and Michael Livingston joined Ella and the Blacks after the Mcdonalds were kicked out. The Michael I keep mentioning in the post is always Livingston; I had not yet started calling him "Mikey"...

The Misterrogers record I refer to was actually just an album cover, which I had hung on the wall. I recited the lyrics to one of the songs at Record Club a few years ago; I was about to go look for the thing but I found the lyrics online, of course. They have nothing to do with anything in this entry, but I shall give them to you anyhow, as they are the most fabulous set of lyrics EVER!

Parents Were Little Once Too

It's great for me to remember
As I put away my toys,
That mothers were all little girls one time
And fathers were all little boys.

My daddy seems so big right now.
He must have grown a lot.
Imagine how he felt one day
When he was just a tot.

My mother's not so big as Dad
But bigger than my sister.
I wonder if she ever had
A little fever blister.

Daddy didn't even have
A real electric fan.
He had to wait a long time, too
'Til he became a man.

My mother used an ironing board
And play irons that were colder.
She often wished for big folks' things
But she waited and got older.

So knives and plugs and hot things are
OK for Mom and Dad.
'Cause when they were a girl and boy
They played with what they had.

25 July 1980

Everyone kept calling and asking about the party at my house. Huh?!! At first I was a little pissed off cause I'd sort of wanted a "quiet evening at home", but then I thought, it might be kinda fun.

Well, had to pick up Jennie, and Gerber and Rob Henley, and we stopped at the Whisky. Some people were there; talked to Gloria and Critter. Then when I was crossing the street I saw her - the girl who started it all at the Fleetwood!!! Now that I saw the real person, how could I have EVER thought it was Gloria!!! I was gonna round up a bunch of people to get her but she left.

Jennie kept nagging to leave. Peanut Killer [Danny Shades, who lived in an apartment around the corner from the Whisky] told me that Cliff Hanger had knocked on his window and had passed out in the alley. Well, I had to go rescue him! I walked right past him at first... Then I brought him back with me and he kept wanting me to go have a drink with him but we talked him into coming to the party with us.

Everyone was hanging out in the street and parking lot. I went to talk to Dewey or somebody and never saw Paul [Cliff Hanger] again.

Inside my house Aretha [Mary], Janice and Jeannie were playing jump rope and Michael Livingston was sitting there, looking like he was on acid. I told him to come and see my room [he had helped me move in, weeks ago, but had not seen it since I had painted it - all black, including the floor and ceiling]. We drank wine, and for the rest of the party, except the few times I ventured out (there were hordes of people!!!) we had our own party in my room: me, Michael, Aretha, Janice, Jeannie, Tyrone [Jeff], Frankie, Elliot, Bosco, Jennie, Jimmy [Brat], Tracy... (Not all at one time!) It was fun but later when I thought of it, what was the use of even having a party?! Oh well. Who cares.

Michael loved the Misterrogers record and the lyrics. [Greg, who Mike had replaced in the Mau-Maus, had given it to me.] I showed him a picture of Greg and he sat there and stared at it for about five minutes - like he fell in love or something. He said he liked his hair. Actually I think that from what he'd been told about Greg, he expected someone quite different looking. Cause he stopped putting him down after that!

No Crisis played [there was a stage in the living room right outside my door] - they were OK. In Kevin's room I saw Michael talking to Dede [Troit] and remembered what Jennie had told me.

Dewey was with another girl. [What a ladykiller!] The one who likes Todd. [???] [LATER: Oh, I think that was Roxie, who went out with Scott "Scunt", later of the Mau-Maus and a good friend of Dewey's...]

Some time later Michael and I went to Mayfair for a quart of Rainy [Rainier's Ale, The Green Death]. And we were just like we used to be... [I don't think we had been in a fight or anything; he had just been acting weird!]

When we came back I found out Frankie had told Jennie I'd gone home and she was all upset and Shaun was kicking everyone out but a few people came in my room for Tracy's birthday cake. I didn't have any; just drank more [next day's entry reveals a killer hangover] and then Michael said he was leaving and I can't remember exactly what happened except that I ran after him and said that he couldn't. Well, it's such a long walk! I guess I sort of made a fool of myself. And I went back in and almost everyone had left and i was sitting on the couch talking to Mark who had a black eye from Jason [???!!] and he put his arm around me and I was scared he was gonna try something and I didn't care. But then Elliot came in and laughed at my make-up being all smeared and I stalked off to bed.

I don't remember taking my contacts out or anything after that but Elliot said he knocked on the door and I let him in and yelled at him. Then Jennie said she and Bosco tried to cheer me up.

This wasn't at the Manor; it was at Jennie's house, but it was around the same time. Photo by Jennie.

On that day in 1977 - 25 July

Still on a family road trip; I was crabby! We had been staying in Littleton, Colorado, with my childhood friend Jill and her family. Tammy was my friend from elementary school who had moved to Denver five years ago; we did not manage to meet up.

My father was/is a moth and butterfly collector; hence we had to go to these out of the way places. My mom snored something awful; hence my relief at being able to sleep. Leadville was a miner's town. Pushbutton TV makes me think of old televisions in England, but I think I just meant the TV had a remote. We didn't have one of those at home yet, probably not till the 80s sometime. Yes, kids, we used to have to get up and walk across the room to change the channel!!

25 July 1977

So we had to get up early. I was really crabby all day cause of not being able to see Tammy, and having to leave Jill. I was pissed cause we always do and go what and where Mom and Dad want to and I have no say in the matter. When I was younger it didn't matter so much. But now my friends are all starting to go on vacations with friends (Dan and Peter, Suzanne and whoever...) - that's what I want to do!

Anyway, we got to that stupid pass and it was cold and boring and we had to stay there like three hours and I don't think Dad even caught anything! Then we drove and went through Vail and stayed in L(D)eadville, Colo., but at least we had a real neat motel room (a suite with pushbutton TV - my own double bed and no mom in the room!!)

On that day in 1976 - 25 July

Oh, Lord, can you say "em-bar-rass-ing"?!

E.W. = Edgar Winter; D.H. = Dan Hartman; I think I only used initials to save space

We knew where Rod Stewart lived because Trudie had found his Beverly Hills address in someone's book; she also had Bob Dylan's (in Point Dume) and quite a few others. Mary and I think Brent had once spotted Ron and Russ in their Thing! and followed them to an apartment building in Westwood. I have no idea who the E.W. fan was or what we did with him after he was picked up, nor why I thought that Mary was dumb. (Sorry, Mary!)

25 July 1976

Today I went with Cat to pick that guy up who had a spazz about me meeting E.W. He hates D.H.! Then Cathy, Mary and I went to H-wood, wandered around the Beverly Hilton, then tried to find Ron and Russ's in Westwood. Mary is dumb enough; then drove up that hill and down and then to Rod Stewart's. No one was home but we left the note. Robert [Marlow] says he played soccer with him and he's gonna do that every week. [I went to watch a couple times; Rod did not show up...] Oh, we called Earle too; talked for one second cause he had to go.

On that day in 1975 - 25 July

A fairly short entry from my non-daily journal/commonplace book; well, short if I don't transcribe all the full lyrics that I wrote out! I had to google the first set as I did not remember the song ("Anyway"), and found that someone had blogged about it, even more enthusiastically than I did. See: http://www.zentastic.com/blog/2001/09/27/anyway-they-say-she-comes-on-a-pale-horse-but-im-sure-i-hear-a-train-oh-boy-i-dont-even-feel-no-pain/

Anyway, (sorry!), I shall not bore you with the complete lyrics, nor the mooning/musing over Robert, whose name appears all over the margins - jeez! And here's yet another Ella (Fitzgerald) reference!

25 July 1975

I love that song. But I could never learn all the words. I'm gonna figure out how to play it though. Wish I could have another creative period like I did in May-June.

All of a sudden I realized how great The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway is. Keep playing it. Ondi adores it. Susan scratched it! Gave herself away yesterday: "Did you play side two?"

Had a dream last night that I called Dan to ask about Gentle Giant (as I really did last night - by the way, it was postponed!), and he said he'd go but only if Ella Fitzgerald went! And I said I'd ask her. Bizarre.

I'll call Jade tomorrow. Since G.G. is postponed, I have to go to the Sweet! [I never did see Gentle Giant - oh well! I had a very limited budget those days so couldn't go to half the shows I wanted to, until I figured out how to get in free...]

Got my hair cut yesterday. Looks the same.Wait till I get a Patti Quatro!!! [Suzi Quatro's sister was in Fanny and I had torn out a photo of her from Creem magazine. I never did find a hairdresser who could make me look as wild as her though.]

That's Patti Quatro on the right. Funnily enough, I did obtain that hairdo, with bleached blond hair, when I sang with the HeeShees many years later!

Here I am with the HeeShees in the summer of 1984. I think I outdid Patti Quatro! Photo by Gary Leonard

When Dan saw my hair Toni goes, "It's a FEMALE, Dan!" [No idea what this means...] Dan hates pools. He asked me what I'd been up to; he went to Sequoia. He teased me about Todd. Told him about "Practically 17". [Also, no idea!] Remember: Ryan's Hope and The People Next Door and Teenage Zombies! [Well, how could one ever forget Teenage Zombies?!]

On that day in 1978 - 24 July

I was back in London, staying at my friend Paul's in Kensington. The Clash were playing that night, I think at the Music Machine (later Camden Palace). It was the first time I saw them, as well as their support, Suicide. The latter got a lot of stuff thrown at them, but I thought they were great!

Here it was, the middle of 1978, and I still had long, wavy hair! I had been reluctant to go short as the last time I had - when I was 13 - it went ultra curly - blecch! And naturally I wanted it short and spiky. I thought maybe a proper Kings Road hairdresser could perform miracles.

As for the psychedelic power of my Syd Barrett badge, make of that what you will...

24 July 1978

I got up, got ready, put on my Syd Barrett badge, which I had not worn before, and set off for Kings Road.

Walking to the tube station I realised I felt really weird, really spaced out. It was like being on acid! I was just walking along without really thinking about it.

On the tube I got really freaked out - all the people bugged me and I wanted to get off!

Well, I did, at Sloane Square, and began walking down Kings Road. There were tons of clothes shops but I felt too spaced out to look in any - they weren't that great anyway.

They did have the neatest trousers in BOY - but I couldn't get into a 26. I felt fat... [I weighed about 98 pounds/7 stone then.] I think they were 24s...

I kept hearing songs that sounded different than normal - God Save the Queen - well, maybe it was a bootleg. Devo - that's understandable - the LP. But Rod Stewart's Hot Legs?!!

Seditionaries was closed. I found the Buzzcocks LP in a used record stall - the guy played a few tracks off it. That's when I felt ULTRA spaced out.

I went back to Seditionaries which was now open... They didn't have as good stuff as BOY did. I left a message for Helen in there.

I found a haircutting place and they said to come back in half an hour. I went and ate in Pizzaland.

I hadn't got my hair cut in a place in years. [For the past six or seven years I had been doing it myself or else Helen took care of it.] She gave me a magazine to read and it had the best picture of the Only Ones in it! I was gonna ask if I could have it but I decided I could just buy it.

So I wasn't paying attention to how much she was chopping off - she sort of got carried away! Well, at least I got my money's worth! Actually I didn't think it looked so bad till it dried and got all kinky. Oh well...

Then I had trouble finding that 19 Magazine - went all up and down by Notting Hill Gate and by High Street Kensington but no newsagent had it.

Bought some raspberries. And ate them all.

Back at Paul's I changed my Syd badge for the Clash one so I wouldn't have to remember later on. And later I realised that that was when I began feeling normal again... STRANGE.

Paul's friend Sheila came over and made dinner. They went to a film and I set out for the Clash.

Found the place OK and there was Mary, sitting out in front of the venue! Twas a joyful reunion...

It was sold out - neither of us had tickets - but we decided to hang out.

Finally met some London punks - but I never saw them again. Finally saw an English asshole policeman [I meant that every cop I had encountered so far had been nice, unlike their counterparts in the States] - tells me to take that drink back to the pub. Later I had just finished it and was answering that blond girl's question when he comes up again - asshole! Says I'm gonna throw it on the ground. Sure.

Some guy sold Mary and Brian tickets for £2.50 and this other guy kept bugging me - for £3.50 - and we kept arguing and arguing... I think I ended up giving him £3.25 and he kissed me on the cheek and said he'd buy me a drink later but I never saw him.

We went right down by the front. Danced a little to records. met this skinhead guy - he was really nice though but I kept making faces the other way when he leaned on me...

When Suicide came on there was too much shoving and stuff being thrown so I moved off to the side. I saw that guy I saw at the Radio Stars - weird. It was a pretty good place but I didn't wanna stand there for hours so I went out in the foyer. After a while I found Helen, and on the top balcony, the Dickies. I talked to Billy for a while.

Later I found Helen again downstairs. She told me the story about how she got in there (climbing in a window) and I "loaned" her a quid to get something to eat - I'm so generous!

For the Clash I stood in the back but I could see pretty well. I danced to some of the songs but it was so hot!! My feet didn't hurt as much when I danced. They were pretty good - I kept changing my mind. I loved them when they did songs I knew and liked; I thought they were overrated while they did the others... [Profound! I just realised this would have been a few months before Give Em Enough Rope came out, so they probably did a lot of those tracks.] At least they did all their good songs.

Afterwards I saw Brian while I was getting my coat but after I got it I couldn't find either him nor Mary. I looked all over - found all the Dickies and Kent [he worked for the Dickies and also the Quick] says, "Hey, aren't you from LA?"

But I finally found them and Mary talked me into walking even though it was late and my feet were now killing me. Brian was mad at her for talking to people and he disappeared so we weren't sure if we were going the right way. Then when he reappeared he would either walk really far ahead or really far behind us. What a geek. It was so FAR - four or five miles! I kept saying I was gonna stop and call a taxi but I'm glad I didn't - they take so long. And right when we were almost to their hotel, one drove by - what timing!

I wasn't tired when I got in. I had a cup of tea and wrote a letter and didn't go to bed till 4:30 or so. [And I had to get up at 8:00 to go to Liverpool the next day!]

On that day in 1976 - 24 July

I was still looking for someone to buy my Todd ticket; the gig was that night. It was at the Starlight Bowl in Burbank, and before that I wanted to see Robert Williams's band, who were playing in Griffith Park. (I'm not sure where!) That was a gig under the umbrella title Radio Free Hollywood, put on by The Dogs, The Pop! and The Motels; mentioned in this blog: Radio Free Hollywood I think the band that Robert was the drummer of was called Radio. Several years later he joined The Pop! That was the first time I ever saw The Pop! and I really liked them so I'm surprised I didn't write anything about them. But of course my focus was on Todd that evening. He did not play the west coast very often in the mid seventies and I had been waiting impatiently nearly two and a half years for his return.

Strange that on my very first day of being able to legally drive that I would drive across the county, all over Griffith Park and the hills above Burbank, and chase Todd's limo in the dark! I remember freaking Mary out on the way to Griffith Park as I would make the car "dance" every time "More More More" (I hated most disco, but did love that song) came on the radio, which was very often!

24 July 1976

Well, it's past 3:00 but I have to write about today. At 9:00 [this morning] Ava still wasn't sure about going, talked to Cathy, talked her into going till she found out when the show was. [Tonight!] Talked to Brent and neither he nor Peter wanted to go; then Ava finally said she wanted to, but I had already promised Mary. We went to look for Hollywood Spectaculars. [These giant sunglasses; I'd gotten some a couple years ago but they had broken.] I got Todd a little rhinoceros that says "You make me horny". [Good grief!]

So we went to Ava's where she wastes enough time; now she hates me. So finally we leave; got to Griffith Park and there was a sign where the bands were playing. But some other band was on. I was looking for the restroom when I thought this guy looked like Robert from the back and I was gonna grab him but I went to the front to make sure but he saw me. Plans foiled again! He said it was good I had missed them [his band] cause they had been awful. He said this girl was his girlfriend and I gave him a dirty look and then he said that she was just a girl who always come to see them play and not to think anything of it. Later he said he felt guilty, that he should be spending more time with me, that he didn't want me to get jealous. He told his friend that I was his other girlfriend.

Oh yeah, that guy in white! Robert said he was just a friend of the band. Robert always wears that shirt - PAPS San Francisco – 10 – and those same jeans; now they have a hole in the back. For a while he changed into shorts. He loved borrowing my camera. He put his cowboy hat on my head. He kept staring at me with sunglasses on; it was driving me crazy! Then one time he kissed me; I was a little surprised, then he goes, "You're horny enough; all I do is give you one little kiss and you're ready to jump into bed with me!" But he said he felt the same. I wish we could have – I mean just be alone for a bit - I got so turned on! And I think if I [first] saw him now I wouldn’t be infatuated with him. It's only true love. He was talking to the bass player in the other band.

That one band was weird, weird like Jonathan Richman. [No idea who this was.] So finally we were gonna go and I told Robert and he just squeezes my hand and I look at him and he goes, "I can't kiss you goodbye, my lips are chapped." Ha! I was pissed enough, wait'll he gets his present Tuesday! [??? I looked ahead and there were no clues to what I was talking about there.]

So we stopped for film and junk; oh, forgot to say that I bought roses from a street corner boy, gave one to Robert. So we got there and Man were on. They weren't anywhere as good as I thought they should be. I was so dumb, I forgot the film (and later found out I couldn't get it [from the car] anyway) but it's good I did try to get it or I would have probably stayed to see more of Man but instead we decided to wait for Todd to arrive. That was weird; like in my dream, that girl didn't know who Todd was!

Finally, after Journey had gone on, a limo drives up. I almost died. Mary was in the bathroom. I ran over there, and saw him. I really don't remember much, except Bebe was there, he gave some girl an autograph (I almost got one), and some girl kept saying, "I love you!" and I remember saying, "I love you too!" and holding onto his arm for just a fleeting second. The guards said he had to go in. I called his name but one of the guards said he'd give my present to him. Then I had the spazz attack of the century! I screamed, jumped up and down, hugged Mary, ran around and cried. I made such a scene; I was hysterical! Then I saw Sharon and Dawn [friends from school whom I had recently met and who were Todd fans] who I thought must have met him or something but ha ha. [I guess they didn't!]

Well, I couldn't stop crying or calm down for about five minutes. Then we went to watch Journey. They were really good, [Eh?! Did I REALLY say that?] especially the guitarist. Saw Jeff Lester and Bill Wood (bald now) [Jeff was a friend from high school but who was this Bill Wood dude?] and the Queen caterer [???] with some chick from our school, next to Mary.

Well, finally Todd came on. At first everyone went wild but not for long. the audience just wasn't like last time; there was no international feel. [It was all prog rock Utopia; the last show I saw, which was more than two years ago, featured almost two hours of Todd on his own, prancing about in a leotard and singing to backing tracks before the band joined him.] Todd can still move around, even with a guitar. He did some split jumps, windmills and a lot of kicking and jumping around. I swear he reminds me so much of Robert Williams. [???!!!] I never realized it before! The way he acts, moves around, talks, his sense of humor, everything! Mary said I act like him; Trudie says I dance like Robert Marlow. But he's enough like Todd, I mean R.W.! [I am completely insane.]

So first Todd did a new song, then "When the Shit Hits the Fan" (I wish it would! And SOON!) [You would need to know the lyrics to get that…] I stood up and screamed before and after every song; I don't care about everyone else. When he did "Seven Rays" I went crazy! Then he did a "mellow" song ("one of those new words" he said)… Why didn't I bring a tape recorder?! They wouldn't have known… I started crying during "The Verb to Love". After Todd did "Black and White" he goes, "What is mankind's greatest invention?" and before anyone else I yelled out "Todd!!"

I missed Todd running around but it was still funny; at the end he played his guitar like a machine gun. [I then go on to describe every detail of every single song of the set, but I'll spare you. And I probably should have cut more above!] The first encore was "Do Ya" and the second, "Just One Victory"; I had a super spazz then. (Earlier I had yelled that out and the girl behind me said, "Good idea!")

I didn't want Todd to leave – I love him so much! After it finished they went and played "Cause We Ended as Lovers". [Jeff Beck's instrumental version of this Stevie Wonder song was the last song played at the Rainbow each night and therefore held much significance to me. It always made me sad!] Sob!

The NES were fucked; first they make us move back, then go all the way down the driveway, then across the street!! The one guy was OK; he said he'd give my roses to Todd and tell him my name. So we waited and waited; talked to those guys – one didn't like Earle [Mankey - ??!]; that girl had got her Runt album autographed; about ten people asked me where I had got my shirt [this would have been a shirt I'd got from an ad at the back of Creem Magazine in 1974; I wore it last month when I went to see Todd and I can't believe I used to wear it to school as it is quite a revealing photo!] – that's weird that I was the only one with one like it; there was no one with my yellow Todd shirt either but a few people with the blue one. [I do not have these any more and can't even remember what the blue one was!] So finally we got my car and waited; finally they came and we followed. They were going pretty fast. It was fun; everyone was yelling "Todd!!!" out the window. We went about four miles then at a red light I lost them. Oh well. Then we went home. When I got home it was after 2:00 but I didn't get in trouble!

On that day in 1982 - 23 July

I was in Milan with Stuart. We had meant to be staying with my friends Nino and Rieko, but they did not have a telephone, and when we turned up at their place, a neighbor of theirs told me that they had gone out of town! I thought we had got our wires crossed. It turned out to be untrue (they were going away the following week) but we had no way of knowing that and they had no way to get in touch with us.

But we liked Milan and had found a cheap hotel, so ended up staying five days. On the third day we discovered there was a big music festival - totally free - in the city centre; that also was a reason to linger. We'd seen Jimmy Cliff the night before and had missed the Lounge Lizards. We knew it was still on today, but had no way to easily find out who was playing when.

It was very hot and muggy and therefore even a public swimming pool seemed inviting. Stuart had just bought a pair of those Euro Speedo style trunks - woo hoo!

23 July 1982

So we decided to stay another day; it was too hot to hitch. We found the pool okay. I'm sure we were the only foreigners! All the boys - every single one - had those suits! Lots of nice 13-14 year olds ... [No comment!]

It was too crowded to swim much. I kept losing Stuart. We kept going for snacks and drinks. I spent a lot of the time watching people underwater in the diving pool. (There were lots of windows - it was like a people aquarium!) Some boys' suits were falling off!

This time we took the right train and got to the festival early. We got off at antoher place down the road where some Milano punk bands were playing. We saw one do their sound check - they were sort of a Joy Division/Fall rip-off - they sang in English.

Then we went down the the main place to see the Mo-dettes... and they stunk! We found out we had missed: Siouxsie & the Banshees, Echo & the Bunnymen, Duritti Column and (sob! sob! sob!) [next to the Birthday Party they were my favourite band at the time and I never did see them] The Scars!!! [These bands had all played the first couple nights, before we knew about the festival.]

We went back to the first place and then left - needed to get some sleep - ha. On the way from the station it began to pour and it was really windy. I had left a bunch of clothes out to dry on the windowsill and I was positive they'd be all over the street! Thank God they weren't!

On that day in 1980 - 23 July

More memories of Bosco ... Not sure where the Flamin Groovies gig that didn't happen was, but UXA and the Gears were playing at the Troubadour.

23 July 1980

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go see the Flamin Groovies and so did Bosco and he said to stop by the Troubadour cause UXA were playing first and he'd go with me afterward. So I stopped there and got in [free via] the back and they didn't go on right away and I kept thinking I had to leave but I didn't want to cause like EVERYONE was there; then someone said they didn't think the Groovies were playing and I called to make sure and it was true, they had cancelled or something. I was happy! I mean I had really wanted to see them, but on another night. I'm so glad I didn't go down there!

UXA were fantastic with Bosco! Especially that funky song he wrote. We [probably Elliot and I, or maybe Dez] sat on the side of the stage. I didn't watch the Gears, and Puke, Spit & Guts were disgusting. [I don't even remember that name; who were they?!]

Tracy [from Redd Kross] had brought her little brother and this mother just dropped off her kids, not more than 5 or 6!! [I guess the Troubadour didn't have an age policy!] Dez and I sat in the park and drank and fled when a cop car went by and luckily it was all still there when I returned later and I drank by myself.

It was just fun, talking to everyone. Jennie comes up talking about "the cutest boy in the world" and there was Michael Livingston, with his hair brown, [I can't remember it being another color!] and I say, "And there he is!" He was a bit nicer than recently but still ...

I wish I could've stayed longer but I had to get some sleep. [I was staying at the Manor in Hollywood and had to be at work in Gardena by 8 am - oy vey!] Bosco walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye - it seemed he liked me - I didn't know what I thought! He and Elliot said they were gonna wake me up when they came home but they didn't.

On that day in 1976 - 23 July

I had failed my driving test two times. The first time I had been told I was too reckless, and the second time, too cautious. I guess third time's the charm!

Todd (Rundgren of course!) was playing at the Starlight Bowl. I think I had two tickets and I was trying to find a suitable taker for my spare. I also was determined to find out where the after party was and to go there. Geez, I was a bit melodramatic re my need to meet Todd! I had discovered a place that did iron-on transfers for any picture and was going to make some Nazz shirts. I still have mine somewhere. Anyway, Mary ended up going to the show with me.

Not sure what this advice was re my ex, Robert Marlow, but it was a drag that Jade was moving again, this time to the middle of Texas!

23 July 1976

Well, I made it. When I walked into the DMV I saw the bitch and almost croaked, but then the nicest one came on duty. He told me not to be nervous or run down any pedestrians; he was really nice and I had a feeling he was gonna pass me.

So Cathy doesn't have the money, Dan's not home, no one else has the cash – I hope Ava can't go and someone else can; not that I don't like Ava but I'd rather go with someone who likes Todd!! So after her, Cathy, Peter, Brent, Bill, Susan, Suzanne, Mary … I can't wait anyway. Mom says I'm not going to the party; that's what she thinks!!! I'm gonna die if I don't meet Todd!!!! The Nazz shirts weren't ready – they'd better be!!! Or I'll die!!!

So Jade and I went out tonight; it's weird how we go off and on like that. Now everything's back to normal and I like her a lot again and she's moving away – it's no fair! Went to her house, then the Redondo Pier, then Mary's. She was giving me all this advice about Robert Marlow. Well, we'll see about it. I still think he'd be offended if I cut him off. And I don't really know what he thinks of me. Oh, Robert Williams called while I was at my piano lesson; his band is playing at 2:30 in Griffith Park. I like how he tells me where!!!

On that day in 1975 - 23 July

This entry was four dense pages. I open with a list of records I saw at Platterpus that I wanted. Then I spend a page and a half examining my friendship with Jade. She had borrowed a bunch of records and I even wondered if she was planning to keep them! It all blew over quickly...

But the meat of the entry was the Rock Awards, which were held at the Santa Monica Civic. All the slebs (it does seem weird to use that word in reference to 1970s celebrities!) arrived round the back and there was nothing stopping starstruck teenagers from hanging out and waiting on the grass there for hours. This is what we did before and after concerts, but today we had a concentration of famous folk. There were only about a dozen others waiting on the grass, a few more by the red carpet on the other side.

I looked up the Rock Awards - I found the guest list rather odd; seemed to be more actors and old school entertainers than rock artists, Grandpa Walton, Zsa Zsa and Totie Fields, anyone? - but there was very little information online, except that it was produced by Don Kirshner.) Maybe it was even a one-off event; it would be a few years before the MTV awards took off.

Oops, I was looking at the wrong year, but I was correct in that these awards did not last very long. From the Wikipedia page:

The Rock Music Awards was an alternative to the Grammy Awards designed specifically for rock music. The First Annual awards program was produced in 1975 in Los Angeles by Don Kirshnerand featured Elton John and Diana Ross as hosts and presenters.^[1] The Second Annual awards show featured Brian Wilson as host and presenter.^[2] The show did not provide a successful challenge to the Grammy's and was discontinued after three years.

Winners of the 1975 awards included Elton John as "Rock Personality of the Year" and The Who's Tommy as "Rock Movie of the Year." Other winners included Bad Company, Stevie Wonder andThe Eagles.

23 July 1975

Went to get Hit Parader - TODD, Ray Davies, John Cale, David Bowie and Peter Frampton!! Unbelievable! I wrote eight pages to Russell Mael! [Wish I knew what I wrote about; I have no idea!] Have to call Dan tomorrow about Gentle Giant.

So, the rock awards. We got there and Raquel Welch came out. Then this limo goes by and it's Elton John! [Where were you, Alice Bag?!] SHOCKING. Then Bernie Taupin (he waved to us!),, Valerie Perrine, Olivia Newton-John, Alice Cooper (SNOB!)... then we turn around and Roger Daltrey's limo was going by!

Those kids were making fun of us. Then: Telma Hopkins, Joyce Vincent, Lisa Robinson (Hey, we were faithful readers of Rock Scene!), Kiki Dee (the worst dressed woman of the year!) [What am I - a teenage Joan Rivers?!], Ann-Margret (classic car!) and Tony Orlando. [Where was Dawn?]

Then Roger came back out of the building - went towards his limo but passed it - I couldn't believe my eyes! Closer and closer... Of all the people he stops right in front of me! Used my mag to write on and held my hand (sigh ...) [I guess my hand was holding the magazine?] He is ten million more times foxy in person! Yesterday when he was on KWST I thought of all these great things to say to him and now I could not say a thing! Oh, but I did say that his new album was great and he thanked me ... Why didn't I kiss him? [Good grief!]

Then Keith Moon - "Keithy, I love you!!" He waved. Manhattan Transfer ("Who ARE those squares?!), Chuck Berry (snob), Ella Fitzgerald [she was just some old-fashioned singer my mom liked then; little did I know I would borrow her name in a few years...], Labelle, Davey Johnstone (mmmmmm) (he waved), and Elton came back but he went around to a secret entrance.

Then Edgar [Winter] arrived and everyone kept saying it was some blond chick, but I knew it was Edgar! Steve Paul got out and drove off though and we ran around to the front and it was confusing. Ran right in front of the car and Rick [Derringer] got out and turned around and waved and we ran alongside the red carpet ("Hey, this is great!") but you had to be a photographer with a pass.

So then we saw Phyllis Diller, Mike Douglas, Linda Blair, Roger again, David Joliffe, Nigel Olsson, Shawn Cassidy, Totie Fields, Bo Donaldson, Ruth Buzzi, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Michael Douglas, RUSSELL MAEL, Jim Dandy, Leslie Uggams, Sonny Bono, Minnie Riperton, Johnny Rivers, Clifton Davis and Will Geer.

And I just happened to be wearing my Sparks shirt! [I had had to mail - or should I say "mael"? - order it from England; cult bands did not sell T shirts at their shows in those days.] Rodney Bingenheimer asked me where I got it. Why was Russ behind M.D.?! [No idea who/what M.D. was! Oh, Michael Douglas. But where was Ron?!]

We met these two Roger freaks who had met him at KWST, Virginia and I forget the name of the other. They didn't look like the Rock 'n' Roll type. There was that girl with the Beatles shirt who looked like someone, that girl who knows Rodney and used to go out with R.D.'s friend [Roger Daltrey I guess! Or maybe Rick Derringer?] And that old lady [she was probably in her 30s...] and a few other people.

On that day in 1996 - 22 July

I was leaving my job - needed to go to LA for a while - and it fell to me to find a replacement for myself. I had met this girl Kathy, who had recently finished a theatre course and was very keen to take on the PA job. She had never met my boss and this was her first - and, as it turned out, last - day at the office.

The West End show had just closed. All the costumes and props came back to the office as well as a load of books (there had been a book stall at the theatre, run by a volunteer named Sarah.) Martin was the production manager of the West End theatre I think. I had some kind of bug so was a bit under the weather.

I have only transcribed half of this entry; after this long and tiring workday I managed to make it to Julian K's cocktail-fuelled birthday party, then hang out with my new friend Abigail at her place, meet someone with a van who would help me move my stuff into storage, have an altercation with one of my housemates, do some packing, and have a long trans-Atlantic conversation with Dan Janisch, who would be picking me up at the airport when I flew to LA in August.

As for Kathy, well, she bailed out on Thursday, hemmed and hawed and kept me hanging for days; in the meantime I came clean with and made friends with the dresser's friend, Lisa, who came in to save the day and spent four glorious years in that office I had set up. I never saw that Kathy bitch again!

22 July 1996

So this morning Kathy was coming in at 11:00. (I wanted to make sure [the boss] was in Brighton, and if not, I would pretend to "summon" her to come in; I felt a bit weird about her coming in before she met him, but we needed to get on with things!)

But she rang before I left to say it would be closer to 12:00 and would that be okay.

In the meantime I spoke to [the boss], who was in nice uncle mode. He was thrilled with my compliments about the show, and insisted he had not been mad at me.

Well, Kathy didn't get in till nearly 2:00! Martin, Sarah and the stage manager arrived shortly after that - late as well. I was quite annoyed that they all just dumped all the stuff - not a word from Sarah who had earlier promised to help me put all the books back. It was boiling hot and I still did not feel that well.

I began telling Kathy things, but just glossed over them lightly; I thought she would be around to actually go through things with me, like [a list of boring, day-to-day complicated tasks]. But first we wanted to eat!

I stupidly decided to ring [the boss] to let him know I was going out for a bit and that the stuff had all arrived safely back.

Suddenly he turned into an ogre. Saying he hadn't received any paying-in slips re the books, that Sarah could be puttting all the money in her own account for all her knew... I told him Martin said she was faxing over the info later - but that was no good - he wanted it NOW... Then he went on to say he hadn't heard from [his accountant] in ages... and when I reminded him that a place called Theatrical Administrative Services was doing all the accounting for the show, someone called Edna,, he started shouting that I didn't know what I was talking about - and where did I get this info - "You believe everything you hear!!" - and he said that this Edna couldn't exist if I didn't even know her surname - and that I never ever made any effort to get involved or to find out what's going on - that no one was helping him - that he couldn't call upon his mother for help cause she was in her grave ...

Well, we couldn't go out just yet - I had to phone [the accountant]. He was very sympathetic and he had been in [to the West End theatre] each week to speak to Martin. He was waiting for the final figures, but said he would call [the boss].

So we went out and I was amazed to see so many pubs just down the street, and even a shop! [I had worked in that office the better part of a year, but had never once gone out for lunch in the area; either brought it in or took the train to Tesco. I later made a lot of use of those pubs!] But Kathy doesn't like pub food and the one still serving it was a bit pricey anyhow. [But great food as I found out later; sadly it later morphed into a Gordon Ramsay gastro-pub.] She seemed very keen to go to Tesco. Me - not so much - but it was so hot!

[Long account of getting lost, forgotten Travelcards, finally making it to Tesco and back; shan't bore you!]

Kathy couldn't stay much longer. I was finally eating my sandwich when [the boss] rang. He asked about the books (after I said I'd spoken to Andy), and I thought he meant the books, as in accounts, but now of course the main "simple" thing he had asked me to do was to get those paying-in slips from Sarah. I should have just lied and said I had called already. (Besides, if I had called earlier, they would not have been back at the theatre yet, and when I did call the theatre later, there was no answer!!]

[Remember, people, not many folk had mobiles back then. I actually did, a James Bond-like Sony Vodafone, but the majority of my friends and colleagues did not. So you had a hard time tracking down people sometimes.]

He was now more tyrannical than ever - going on about his dead mother again - and I don't do it and I obviously don't care and I can't communicate and proof was my saying "What books?" and I don't pay attention etc. etc. etc.

Poor Kathy heard every word. I sat down to compose myself and to eat some more and try to explain it all to Kathy, when the phone rang again. As I raced back into the office I thought of an excuse I could use as to why I had not called the theatre yet: before [the boss] had rung the first time, Lisa, the friend of the dresser had rung. (I was a bit short with her; she said she was a friend of Liz's - "Liz who?") Anyway I didn't even have to use my excuse (though I did tell him the message, that Lisa had rung) as he actually had rung to apologise! [The boss's partner] told me later she had ordered him to. He said he hadn't meant to shourt at me - and I kind of apologised too - said I wasn't thinking straight as I didn't feel too well. Also, when I phoned him later on he was nicer than ever - even apologised again!!

But back to this afternoon, Kathy ended up staying much later than she had intended - till 6:00 or so. But I didn't get a chance to show her much else. She said she'd come back on Thursday, though she could only stay 3 or 4 hours that day.

After she left I spoke to Martin - he would fax over the paying-in slips - and had a long conversation with Sarah. She was glad it was all over!

On that day in 1979 - 22 July

For decades, the suburban hamlet of Manhattan Beach has held Sunday summer concerts in Polliwog Park. These days, these nearly all consist of tribute bands or cover bands in various genres, but on this day in 1979 the park hosted Eddie and the Subtitles, Big Wow [Who was in Big Wow?], The Tourists (no, not Annie Lennox; these were "tourists" as being pale persons from Hawthorne; this is what would be shouted at us should we ever venture near the beach in the daytime, and these tourists soon changed their name to Red Cross, and later, to Redd Kross) and the original line-up of Black Flag.

As I report, as soon as Black Flag began their set they were pelted with all manner of food, cans, rocks; it was crazy! Even little kids were throwing things. Strangely, the local press blamed it all on the fans and friends of Black Flag, but we were the only ones behaving ourselves!

Dez and Robo were just horsing around, play-fighting here. But you can see some of the garbage that had been thrown at the band all over the stage.

This was also the day I first met Jeff and Steve McDonald. Strangely, I don't say anything about it though! Both Black Flag and the Tourists played another informal set at a party at the old church, their rehearsal studio in Hermosa Beach, where several people (Greg Ginn, Robo, Ron Reyes, Joe Nolte) also lived.

22 July 1979

I had gotten Magazine's new album the day before - it was so good!!!

Went with Dad to the concert in Polliwog Park. We ate fried chicken and drank wine. The Tourists were really good. Afterwards I saw Frankie and ran down to talk to people.

Big Wow were about how I'd expected. Too many fast covers.

This creep sitting in front of us was talking about punk rock - how punk rockers vomit on each other and eat their own feces and his mother goes, "I know - I watch the news!" (???!!!!)

Well, Black Flag came on and got bombarded. If only Dad wasn't there... I felt like killing those jocks and hippies who kept yelling "Led Zeppelin!!!" and throwing stuff, all kinds of stuff; I never saw anything like it! They stopped the show and the jerk MC says, "If you wanna hear more of Black Flag you're gonna have to stop throwing stuff." DUH!! Finally he said there'd be no more of Black Flag and they all cheered - but Black Flag came on and played some more!

Afterwards I did go up to some sick hippies and tell them to cut their hair. Later one was talking to me when I was looking at some photos and I didn't realize who it was at first and he was pretty nice but then he said something gross. [Must have been too gross to relate, darn it!]

The jerk MC introduced Eddie and the Subtitles (who were sorta better this time) as a new wave, not a punk, band. Lame!! Oh yeah, I forgot to say that I couldn't believe how many people were there when I arrived but half of them left when Black Flag came on.

Then Rod and Greg came! When I was standing there talking to them, some jock threw a beer can and it hit me in the head!! It was half full and really hurt - I got SO MAD!!!

Dad left. Greg tried to steal my other Crash Course badge. He was being such a pervert - kept trying to pull up my dress. I told him he laughed like a guinea pig and he wiped all my lipstick off on his jacket and hit me in the nose - he was just joking around but it hurt for hours!

Since he had already exposed me enough I did somersaults down the hill. It was fun.

Rod gave me a ride to the Black Flag party [at the old church in Hermosa Beach]. And Greg would not leave me alone!! He kept trying to kiss me. He opened the door while we were driving and Rod got really mad! Then he made me sit on his lap and asked what I wanted for Xmas - I said, "Not you!!"

We went in the church; in the hall I asked Greg for a sip of beer and he said he didn't owe me anything - that we had nothing between us. Then a minute later he tried to talk me into going into the bathroom with him. The creep!!!

The Old Church, when it was still a church in 1967

On that day in 1976 - 22 July

Short and sweet entry, musing at the middle of my summer vacation. I was taking a few classes at the Dick Grove Academy of Music in Studio City. The fox turned out to be named Jerry Alcivar; his brother was in Montrose and I was well impressed!

22 July 1976

Mary woke me up this morning. Her new nickname is Maggie: "Aye, Maggie..." [That didn't last long!] We washed the car and as soon as we finished, it started raining! [See, it does rain in Southern California, even occasionally in the summer...] Almost died from the ammonia! [No idea what I'm on about here...]

Robert [Williams] had better call tomorrow! Wonder what happened to the Smelly Bum [Robert Marlow]; he hasn't called for a while. Admit, it, you still like him. How awful.

In Rock Keyboard Styles class we did country music - thrills. That guy in front of me - he never turned around so I only saw him at the beginning and end. His haircut was really neat. Fox fox fox!!!

On that day in 1975 - 22 July

In the early days of my journals, I did not write every day. So in this entry I write about various events of the past couple of weeks.

I used to babysit the son and daughter of a woman with whom my father worked. On the day I wrote about the "hyperactive" (as they called it in those days) boy - I think he was around 8 - had not taken his meds. He got in a fight with his sister and when I tried to intervene he threw a macheté at me. Luckily he missed! He seemed to have a stockpile of weapons in his bedrooms, all gifts from his divorced dad. Needless to say, I never babysat for him again.

22 July 1975

Listening to Ian Hunter. Ava thinks he's gorgeous!?

Almost got murdered on Friday by little Willy. It seems so funny now getting chased out of the house by the kid you're babysitting and you should have seen me run when he said, "I'm gonna go get my hard ball!" when he was already holding his macheté. [He had hacked a poster on his sister's door to pieces and had made a few holes in the door as well. His sister and I jumped out a window and ran to the neighbors' when he went back to get another weapon.] I was SHAKING!! A horrifying experience!!!

Ran into Bill [Stomp] when we were coming back from Two Guys. He's so funny, insane, I love him. It's true what they say. [Who?] He asked if I'd heard from Mike [Nolte] lately. How late is lately? [I proceed to relate our entire conversation, but I shall not bore you!]

Read Jaws. Went to the beach yesterday and last Tuesday. Oh yeah, Mike asked if Steve tried anything!! Ha ha ha ha ha! Of course. [No idea who this Steve is or what I'm laughing about here.]

I will never never never be a housewife. I can't sew, iron, cook, do housework - I don't even know how to run a dishwasher or washing machine!!! So ha ha ha ha - that's life!!!

"Excited by your ... ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" I LOVE this album! Heard "Rudy" by the Pretty Things again; must get it - next thing!

I've been having all these great dreams but I forgot to write them down. I could kill myself! I don't understand the notes either. Well, I remember part of one. I met Ray Davies on a bus. And later we were in a car and David Bowie was in the car behind us and Jade and I waved to him and he and Angie waved back and then later we met them somewhere.

"Rip-Off" was just on. [Now I had turned on the radio.] I think this song must be the Sadistic Mika Band. No, it's Fox. It's called "Only You Can". All guys. [No, it wasn't! Why did I think that?! I bought the album soon after writing this. I still have it, but I much prefer "S-s-s-s-single Bed".]

On that day in 1980 - 20 July

Another typical weekend at the Manor ... When I had returned from England at the end of winter earlier this year I had not told many - if any - people the details of the last couple months of my stay there (the squat in Brixton, Smig, my first visit to Leeds...). But I guess I told Bosco, and later that summer, Dave Formula (yes, from Magazine; he was a good listener!)

I miss Bosco. I'm glad I got to hang out with him several times in the 90s and 00s in LA and NYC before his untimely death in the summer of 2005.

"Rapper's Delight" had come out in the late summer of 1979 but in those days it was only played, in LA, on the two black music stations, KDAY and KGFJ. They played the full 17-minute version, and Ella and the Blacks performed the full version at our first gig at the King's Palace (Raji's) on 31 October 1979. In 1980 the short version was released and it became a hit.

Keith, a Vietnam vet, was one of our housemates at the Manor.

I had a lot of traditions and rituals attached to various places and venues. The Troubadour was adjacent to a florist, and you could always find some nice flowers in the florist's Dumpster. I'd either make a bouquet to carry around or stick some blooms in my hair.

20 July 1980

Bosco had stayed over. This morning I told him the whole story of Smig and all that. I had to tell it to someone!

We went to Maggie's to buy some more acid. I split mine with Elliot and talked Bosco into taking it too. Critter and Gloria were staying there and Maggie put on Rapper's Delight which they had just discovered. They were all amazed that I knew all the words!

Played Ella and the Blacks in the car. [This would have been either the above-mentioned gig or a rehearsal tape. This makes me sad to remember this; Bosco was such a fan...]

What all did we do? Well, we played Crimson and Clover, over and over. Bosco was complaining about his nose and made onion soup. Keith was trying to freak us out again. I got depressed because I couldn't play the piano well so I went into my room and sang about Romania. [As you do.]

Went to McDonald's and ordered french fries and laughed when they asked for 48 cents and I had the free thing. [A coupon I reckon I'm referring to.] Bosco wanted ice cream and we found a parlor - it was expensive but he finally bought me a cone - it was really good - and we played Space Invaders and there was something wrong with the machine and it kept giving us free games. [Which was good, as I was so crap at it I could never get my quarter's worth!]

Back at the house Lisa and her friend [no idea who this was] were going to the Troubadour and we went along. Stopped at that place Elliot recommended to eat: fried eggplant and stuff - two old ladies - and disco music - money. [???]

At the Troubadour I sort of got that stranded feeling but I wouldn't have had fun if I had been normal. Cause half the fun of going out is sitting in your car drinking and Bosco and I wanted to go home and watch TV. I panhandled money to buy a rose from this little kid cause they'd locked up the trash can.

Bands were awful, even RPM who were supposed to be OK. We spied on them in the kitchen through the window. Got in a big argument with two guys - especially one - who wouldn't believe where I lived, and Laura was with them (didn't know her). [Don't ask me!]

We were looking for Japanese people to ask them what time it was in Japan, but never found out. We were gonna call across the world, but ended up only calling Rod and Greg [in New York City], and Rod answered. I handed the phone to Bosco and we acted like idiots. Rod talked to Bosco and hung up. I moped around cause I'd wanted to talk to Greg.

Earlier Bosco had rung a friend of his in NYC; I was amazed at how normally he could speak!

Lisa ended up giving us a ride back too. I can't remember anything happening after we got home; I guess I just went to bed.

On that day in 1979 - 20 July

This is a mighty long entry with loads of embarrassing bits, some of which are just too funny not to share!

As mentioned previously, I was on a paid government video production program called Focus on Video. And since my last entry I had had a few phone conversations with Earl; everything was back on track there. His car - a fabulous Karmann Ghia convertible - had died though and he needed to find a new one.

Picking Craig Stoker up in Long Beach involved driving about 40 miles out of my way; hence my crabbiness!

20 July 1979

We went on a field trip to Loyola and I felt repressed and envious, looking at all their equipment. And mad when I saw the kind of shit they made with it!! (Ugh - a disco "Over the Rainbow"!!!)

Spoke to Earl and he didn't wanna go out cause he didn't think that Rod would wanna take him around to look at cars (tomorrow). So I said that I'd take him. We agreed to meet in Chinatown.

Craig talked me into picking him up. We had to go pick up dumb Ian too and he wasn't even there! We got some vodka and I made Craig drive. I was still hungry though. So we first went to the kitchen restaurant [brightly lit place in Chinatown] but they never came for our order so we left and went to another kitchen one. Met Mike Atta there so we ordered four dishes between us and I didn't wanna waste any and I ate too much!

When we came back there was Earl. I almost didn't recognise him at first! [I don't know why; it had only been a few days since I last saw him...] He was with Rod and Greg - who was still a jerk. Earl and I went to my car and he finished off the vodka and said he'd buy me another bottle. We talked and got on the subject of that time they all left me there [in Chinatown] (the time I got mad at Earl for saying I wasn't lively enough though I did not mention that!) and I had to sit in my car for a couple hours... [to sober up, presumably]. Earl said if he had known I was there alone he would never have left but he had been so out of it. Also he said that his dad had to take him looking for cars tomorrow cause he was the one who had the money.

We went back and Rod and Greg had gone in and that's all who were on the guest list. Earl was hungry so we went and ate at the kitchen place. Well actually, he ate - I watched - I was stuffed. I remember he was talking in there about how he should stop buying heroin and about how Charlotte got him into it - brought it home one day...

There were millions of people outside the Hong Kong Café when we went back. Earlier the S.J.'s had been; [S.J. stands for "Scottish Jerks"; apologies to my friends from the north, but that's what Trudie started calling my ex, Robert Marlow, and his male cronies back in high school and I'm afraid it stuck...] That's weird seeing Robert again when I was with Earl, and Mandy thought he was cute!

Rod and Greg came out. [I have no idea who was playing at the Hong Kong that night; half the time I didn't get in.] Rod got in a fight with Brian. [No idea which Brian this was, and it doesn't really sound like Rod; he must have been really out of it!] He was calling his "girlfriend" a fag hag and stuff. The bouncer kept breaking it up.

Greg looked really ugly this night. He said, like usual, "Can I look up your dress?" and I was wearing a shirt! [Well, if I was wearing a shirt, I was wearing a shirt as a dress, as I was wont to do in those days, and if I wrote "skirt", which is a slight possibility, what's the big deal about the semantics there either?] I told him Brian was from MB [Manhattan Beach; the plot thickens as I don't remember any Brians from MB; maybe it was Brian Grillo who was from Torrance, but that doesn't make much sense as I'm sure he knew Greg from hanging out at the Villa Elaine by this time.] and he said something about it.

We all left to go to the liquor store before it closed. But (like usual) Rod couldn't remember where he had parked his car. Oh yeah, Greg looked ultra lame in a too-short T-shirt - you could see all his muscles too - yuk!! [I do go on about this, probably trying to convince myself I was over the jerk.]

Finally I said, "Why don't we go in my car?" and Earl and I went there but Rod and Greg disappeared. But it was too late [for the liquor store] and Earl got in a bad mood. He said we could either go to Rick's [Mau-Mau Manor on the Sunset Strip, where Earl would stay most weekends] or home - to make up my mind; of course I wanted to go to Rick's but he sounded so thrilled, and I said that too. But we went to Rick's. I felt much better when he put his arm on my leg and leaned on my shoulder. [What? To have a junky nod off on me when I was driving?!]

Slim [Rick Wilder] was making Irish stew. [As you do at 3am, if you're a Mau-Mau...] More food - UGH!! I drank more whisky and Coke. Matt was over and they were all playing guitar and singing: "Take me to the wa-ah-ah-ah-ter-er-er..." It was really funny but then I noticed that Earl was playing records with Rosetta in the other room [she was living at the Manor for a while] and when I first went in there, he went out. Still, I decided I liked Rosetta after all. We blabbed and blabbed about past crushes and stuff. She has a weird record collection - "Who stole my beer?" (?!!!) [I guess that was a title of a record, but when I just googled it, nothing pre-1980 came up.]

Later in the living room Slim did the couch trick and kept teasing us. [Nope, no idea what the couch trick was!] He also kept running in and flashing.

Anyway, being with Earl was great and I know a lot of it was cause I love him so much now. I kept thinking it over and over and over in my mind and tried to communicate it. I tried so hard to be the best lover ever. It was beautiful.

He kept kissing me (and sighing), and I couldn't believe it - Earl fell asleep while he was kissing me! With his tongue sticking out! He looked so funny I could've died except it was kind of insulting too.

I had almost no sleep. First of all, Earl snores. Loudly! Second of all, he kept hitting me! (Thrashing with his arms.) He hogged the pillow and the bed. And once, (while he was still asleep or else I would have killed him) he wiped the sweat off his face onto my face!!!

On that day in 1996 - 19 July

Yes, I am zooming forward in time to show a typical day of working for the man; the one who will not be named. At this time I only worked in his office on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I would be expected to know everything that happened in my absence on Tuesdays and Thursdays of course.

At this time the boss was starring in (and had directed) one of his plays in the West End and had recently done a couple films and published a book. He also was doing a lot of voiceovers because he had two voiceover agents. The new one knew about the old one but not vice versa, so it was very tricky.

I went to the boss's play again this evening after work. It was the last week of the run and I cheered up by having a drink with my pal Gerry, who was one of the chorus boys. (I will reveal his name, cryptically and immune to Googling, as it has become rather well known: Gerard [the profession of Mr. French/Jeeves etc.])

19 July 1996

As soon as I got in, I tried to ring [the boss] this morning but his line was engaged. When I spoke to [his literary agent/business manager] I learned that he had been talking to her, but was now on his way out to Pinewood [Studios] - presumably to do the looping for [his latest film]. She told me about a meeting she had arranged for next Thursday; assured me [the boss] knew about it. He also had been reminded about the meeting this afternoon with the Theatre Royal Plymouth.

In the meantime [the boss's partner] came in. She said she couldn't stay very long but as usual, stayed longer than intended. [I am skipping a couple paragraphs here - some amusing but too complicated stuff...] Then [the B's P] noticed the wall chart. She was surprised that [the boss] had things on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as she had been intending to book a flight for them to the South of France for the beginning of next week. She said [the boss] never tells her anything!

So I began preparing next week's schedule, which I would fax later to [the boss].

But before I could finish I got an angry phone call from him. Claiming that I NEVER tell him ANYTHING. That even if I had verbally told him about these meetings how did I expect him to remember... He can't always come in and look at the wall chart or in the diary... When I explained about the fax he said that was no good because I had not done it... He was most angry about the voiceover - but that's ridiculous - the only reason I even ever speak to Stephanie was that she found out by accident that I existed and only uses me to find out his schedule and to help nag him. [I guess at that time I wasn't meant to be speaking to the agents; that all changed later!] But all that voiceover work goes through to him and I only know what he tells me!

I wanted to kill him. I did stand firm - saying he never tells me everything either, and when I sent the fax later I was going to make a joke about crawling through shit or something but I just signed it: 'Yours humbly and apologetically' - not that he deserves such nonsense but I want a quiet life!!!

The people from Plymouth were nice. [The boss] was late, and called to say he was gonna be late... He complained that he couldn't get through; I suggested he get Call Waiting and he got all shirty.

[Skipping several paragraphs here and afterward that are irrelevant or would require too much explanation...] Oh, I haven't written about the performance. [The boss] was absolutely amazing. I'd never seen him so full of venom - such POWER without shouting... I told him later he always was his best when he was mad at me.

On that day in 1980 - 19 July

A short and bittersweet entry that reminds me how difficult it is to keep a band in line! Ella and the Blacks were born in the autumn of 1979 as a spin-off of Redd Kross (or Red Cross, as they were known at the time), rather like how the Mary Tyler Moore show begat Rhoda. The Mcdonald brothers, or "the Kiddies", as Dez and I called them, were founder members. It was very very cool to have a 12-year-old bass player who slapped those strings harder than anyone twice his age.

But those kiddies were flakes! It was frustrating as I had a free rehearsal space in the converted garage of my home, the Manor. And we needed to break in our new drummer, Michael.

I had stayed at my parents' house the night before, near Jeff (Tyrone) and Steve's (Roman)  home in the South Bay.

19 July 1980

Went back up to Hollywood. I dunno why I even gave the kiddies one last chance, but I offered to give them a ride up to rehearse. But Tyrone had some friend coming over, blah blah blah. I told him to call later and he never did so bye-bye. Later I called him again and he wasn't home.

So later on Michael called and I said we probably wouldn't rehearse but he could come over anyway if he wanted and he said that sounded good; that he had to do some stuff but he'd call me back before he came over.

But he never did. There was OK stuff on television and I didn't really wanna go out anyway but still... I just went to bed early.

On that day in 1980 - 18 July

My best friend from high school, Dan Winter, and our friend Phil Call had characters we would play; Dan was Jim and I was his "little woman", a happy little homemaker called Honey. (I didn't have a name other than that, and I called Jim "honey" too.) Phil was Fred; Fred worked with Jim at Rockwell Corporation along with a young new upstart, Joe Albuquerque. Nobody ever played him; he was just referred to a lot. Sometimes we'd stay in character for hours, which could be difficult as they had absolutely nothing in common with us really. But it was fun! (Once when I was in England, Phil wrote a letter to me, or to Honey, as Fred.)

Still, I can't see the real Honey and Jim going to see Jonathan Richman, much less going to a nekked ladies joint!

Speaking of which, I googled and googled, but could find no evidence that the Silver Slipper ever existed! I also could find no mention of my childhood Keyboard Club, but the building that housed it is still there and is still a strip joint called Starz.

18 July 1980

Tonight Honey and I had a big date. And Fred came too! First time I'd seen Fred since the airport at the end of last year. Well, Honey drove and we went to go see Jonathan Richman at the Roxy. We sat in the balcony and Honey bought me a Singapore Sling. Almost all my housemates came; Jason and Cindy sat on the balcony too and Cindy talked to the boys and thought Fred was kinda cute. Well, she's a nice little woman... Too bad she has a nice big boyfriend!!!

Rick Gershon was there but besides him, Shawn, Mark and Adam [the Stern brothers], there was no one else I knew.

The first act - jerk singer - [no idea who this was!!] was one of the worst things I've ever heard. At least we had an alright time laughing at him!

JR (ha ha) was fantastic!! It was just him and a keyboardist. He could have maybe done more older songs but his new ones are so good that it doesn't matter. In the middle he stopped and sang "Happy Birthday" to Joe Nolte - it was great!! He's about the only one who could get away with something like that. [Strange that I didn't mention any of the Noltes or the rest of the Last when I was listing who I knew there... I mean Joe must have been there! By the way, Dan/Jim/Honey had been in the Last for a while.]

We probably would have stayed for the second set if not for that opening geek.

Saw Peanut Killer outside. [Danny Shades; have I related how he acquired that moniker?]

Honey didn't want to go over to the Manor [my home in Hollywood; I would have been staying at my parents' place in Manhattan Beach this night.]

We drove by UCLA and heard a big party in a dorm so we stopped. Potato chips were soggy; band was almost funky; people were all jerks. Lost the boys for a long time after I went to the bathroom - panic time!!! - but finally found them and Fred and I danced our way to the car. It was so fun!

Fred is crazy! On the freeway he was riding with the door open and waving to people. It didn't seem real.

They said something about going to the naked lady place but then decided to go and eat instead. But I talked them into it! It (the Silver Slipper) [what a fantastic name! My childhood naked lady joint was called The Keyboard; for a long time I associated piano keys with bare boobies... Not that I ever went in there of course but I was fascinated by the place. One of my Barbies - she had a split personality so was Beth the librarian in the daytime and Brenda at night - became a dancer there.] was right around the corner from our old house! [And also near the former site of the Keyboard; this was the county strip, not Gardena proper, so they could sell fireworks and have naked lady clubs on that section of the boulevard.] They let me in free.

Though once I was in there I wondered, what in the world am I doing here?! But it was hilarious! We saw three or four girls and they'd each dance to three songs: in a bikini, then topless, then bottomless. I was the only girl in the audience. In between dancing they would be waitresses, and "Candy" chatted to Fred and asked him how I was liking it.... Well... uh ... the funniest thing I ever saw ...

When we left these two big sisters were trying to get in - they weren't about to "pay to see any white trash girls" - and the guy wouldn't let them in so I went and yelled at him. He said that it had been a mistake letting me in - said that he had thought I was one of the girls!! Yeah, right. I told him where he could stick it. Then we gave the girls a ride to Lemoli Avenue and went and ate Mexican food. Fun night!

On that day in 1977 - 18 July

Still on a family road trip, having strange dreams...


18 July 1977

We went to stay at a cabin. It wasn't dumpy - it was nice.

I had a weird dream last night about Steven H. It was in the fall and I had started school and his girlfriend was in my Russian class. So I came in and he was sitting in the front. I sat in the back. Then he comes back to me after a minute and I saw part of a letter that his girlfriend had written to him. She said something about "our baby" and she was moving to Russia for some reason and she wanted him to come see their baby when it was born.

I had written some stuff about him in a notebook and he goes, "Let me see what you're written about me!" I got the notebook back from him luckily, and all he had seen was some picture of him with "Big Lips" written by it. Then he left. His girlfriend had been looking back at us when we were fighting over the notebook. After he left, I found a note he had slipped into it. It listed all these weird things he would like: a falafel, a comfortable new pair of pajamas, Gleem toothpaste [Whatever happened to Gleem?] etc. And it said if anyone brought him any of these things it would "win his heart" and he wrote to come to his apartment (he lives with his parents!!) that night cause his girlfriend was going somewhere. I saw him somewhere else too, but I forgot the rest.

Anyway, it was so boring this afternoon (it was raining and I love rain but it was all muddy and stuff) that I fell asleep for three hours! This is the dream I had then:

Mom had a baby and I would always insult it and say how gross it was. Then this friend of hers walks in holding a baby and I started saying how ugly it was and stuff and the lady goes, "This is my baby." I go: "No offence to you, lady, but all babies look alike and are the same." Then Cathy had a baby. And she was gonna have like a christening party for it. (I don't know who the father was - it never crossed my mind in the dream to ask.) Oh, before all this we were on the last part of our vacation and we got a call that Kristin had died. We just kept on our vacation. I pretended it wasn't true.

Anyway, now I was home and talking to Susan and Cathy in a booth at Swenson's [ice cream parlor] about Cat's baby's celebration. This girl was going to host it but Susan goes, "Oh, she can't - she was just trying to get a hold of you." Then Susan says I could have it and before I could utter a word of protest, Cat says OK, and they left. And I was supposed to go out somewhere with Tiger that night too!

So all these geeks (like at Cat's going-away party) came to my house. And all these people from my past, who Cathy never knew, too!! I'd stare at them for a long time, and as soon as it came to me who someone was, they would turn into another person! Anyway, this fat gross jock was bugging me. (I think it was the jerk from Mike Nolte's party.) And there were all these guys in the room, and I dared any of them to kick  him in the balls! So this one guy, I forgot who, got up and poured acid in his eye!!! It all fizzed out. It was SO GROSS!!! [I think I had been watching too many horror films...]

It was part my current house, part my old house, and part no house I'd ever seen before! There was this really strange balcony and all the geeks were being rowdy and the cops came. This one cop said, "Can I see you alone in the bedroom?" and I was scared he was gonna rape me or something, and I wouldn't be able to do anything, cause he had a gun! But then Cathy came up and explained everything. There was the greatest food there - that's almost all I did during the party - eat, and hide food to eat later. I hid a chocolate cake and was about to eat a piece when I woke up. I was pissed!

So I was gonna call Tiger collect tonight but I couldn't find a phone booth, It would have cost enough anyway!

From the Dream Dictionary site:

To see a baby in your dream signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings.  Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. (Not sure about ugly babies though!)
To dream about the death of a loved one suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what you like about them. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life anymore. In particular, to dream about the death of your living parents indicates that you are undergoing a significant change in your waking life. Your relationship with your parents has evolved into a new realm. If you dream about the death of a child, then it implies that you need to let go of your immaturity and start being more serious. As your child reaches certain milestones and grows into an adult, dreaming of their death may be symbolic of their own self-discovery, transition and transformation into a new stage of life.

To dream of a baby shower suggests that you are welcoming a new start. You are given a chance to start over again and do things differently this time around. You have a new found faith in life itself. (Well, OK, but what about baby showers for which you are the unwilling host?)

To see or dream that you are on a balcony refers to your desire to be seen and noticed.  You are searching for prestige and higher status. It may also mean that you are on your way up the social ladder. If the balcony is clean, then it indicates that you are looked up to by others. If the balcony is old, then it suggests that your public image is in need of repair. Alternatively, the balcony could signify your ambivalence regarding a situation. You are feeling torn or undecided. (Not sure what that situation was toward which I was ambivalent...)

To see chocolate in your dream signifies love, celebration and self-reward. It also suggests that you may be indulging in too many excesses and need to practice some restraint.

To eat chocolate in your dream indicates that you are embracing your own sensuality.